Is your favorite dog breed on this list of banned breeds?

If it is, this is a reason to maybe keep track of the laws that are being passed in our communites.

http://www.lightacandlesavealife.com/2007/08/the-list—75-b.html

Sadly at least two of my favorite breeds are listed.

Can anyone give me a list of dog breeds that are light brown , middle sized and short haired?

i saw this beautiful dog the other day, i would say that its body structure was very similar to a boxer’s , please give me a list of dog breeds that look like that , thanks

where can i find the OFFICIAL ‘dangerous dog breeds’ list?

oops, sorry! I’m in England, but any would be useful ^_^
I don’t believe in it as it’s based more on breed popularity and ownership than anything – plus media most likely – but it’d be interesting to look at it

What do you think of this joke?

The Barbie doll enjoys being one of the worlds most popular toys. However, along the way to getting that status, there were a number of doll variations that never quite made it. This is a list of the Barbie dolls that you most likely haven’t seen on store shelves lately…

Scratch and Sniff Barbie (Use your imagination…we’re not saying a word.)

Crash Test Barbie

Opera Barbie (complete with the horns and the brass brassiere)

Marie Antionette Barbie (with removable head; guillotine included)

Hiroshima Barbie (just a shadow of her former self)

Enron Barbie (Originally sold for $29.95, but now you can’t give her away.)

Frozen Barbie on a Stick (in your grocer’s frozen food section)

Divorce Barbie (includes the house, the car, and half of Ken’s crap)

Broken Bungee Barbie

FrankenBarbie (green Barbie with bolts through her neck)

Shock Therapy Barbie (car battery and wires included)

Samuel L. Jackson Ken (He’ll get medieval on your a**.)

Manic Depressive Barbie (with a set of Oriental throwing knives)

Biker Barbie (with leather jacket, tattoos, and red bandana)

Cheesehead Barbie (Wisconsin’s best)

Dogsled Barbie

Peg Leg Barbie

Eye Patch Barbie

Politically Incorrect Barbie (Pull the string and she loudly blurts all your favorite racial slurs.)

Death Row Barbie (formerly #31)

Life Size Anatomically Correct Barbie (for all you perverts out there)

Martha Stewart Barbie (comes with orange jumpsuit and color-coordinated accessories)

Homeless Barbie (complete with stolen K-Mart shopping cart)

Tattoo Barbie

Burn Victim Barbie (bandages and Bactine included)

Venus de Milo Barbie (made of rock; no head, no arms)

Bulemic Barbie (Feed her, then make her throw it back up!)

Cyberpunk Barbie (includes ‘trodes and implants)

White Trash Barbie

Serial Killer Barbie

Drag Queen Ken (Comes with three, count ‘em, three, of Barbie’s dresses.)

Acupuncture Barbie (not recommended or children under seven)

Voodoo Doll Barbie (see #33 above)

Cannibal Barbie (Great visual imagery, huh?)

Fast Food Barbie (Also known as McBarbie…you want fries with that?)

Teenage Slut Barbie (see #21)

Polar Bear Club Barbie (dip her in cold water, and her skin turns from pink to blue!)

Ski Bunny Barbie (soon to be #60)

Sucking Chest Wound Barbie

Alien Barbie (Don’t tell ANYONE…)

Ken In Black (protecting Barbie from the worst scum of the universe)

Alien Eyewitness Barbie (vacant expression, been flashed one too many times with the neuralizer)

Mafia Ken (With a violin case…you got a problem with that?)

Alcoholics Anonymous Barbie (With coffee mug and 12-step guide)

Mutant Barbie (comes with Dark Phoenix costume)

Las Vegas Showgirl Barbie (with skimpy dress)

FemmiNazi Barbie (Pull the string and find out why men suck.)

Goth grrl Barbie (with black hair and lipstick, dog collar, and 20-hole Doc Martens)

Body Piercing Barbie

Napoleon Ken (stands 2″ tall)

Midget Barbie (partner to #51, above)

Spank-Me Barbie (see #37)

Shish-Ka-Barbie (Here’s one we’d all like to see!)

Knocked-Up Barbie

Chain Smoker Barbie (with Surgeon General’s warning on box)

Tough B*tch Barbie (see #14)

Junkie Barbie (Gotta love those needle tracks…)

Iron Maiden Barbie (No, not the band…)

Avalanche Barbie (buried in 16 feet of snow)

Hooker Barbie (#47 after the show)

Cross-Dressing Ken, er, Barbie, er, Ken (Who knows?)

Whoopie Cushion Barbie (Do you really need a description?)

Microsoft Barbie (Barbie doll with Bill Gates’ head. Seeks to eliminate all other dolls.)

Realistic Teenage Barbie (flat chest, braces, and acne)

Internet Addiction Barbie (Pale complexion, bloodshot eyes, and coffee-stained clothes.

Pull the string and she either spouts URL’s or mutters to herself.)

Triple Espresso Barbie (pull the string and she shakes uncontrollably for hours)

Shop-’Til-You-Drop Barbie (with a wallet full of credit cards)

Collection Agency Ken (starts calling 6 months after you buy #68, above)

Bankruptcy Barbie (formerly #68 above; Chapter VII or Chapter XIII available)

Tasmanian Barbie (spins like a top)

Siamese Twins Barbie (Actually, I believe they prefer to be called “conjoined twins”.)

Edible Barbie (also known as Choc-O-Barbie)

Hockey Barbie (With bruises, a hockey stick, and missing teeth.)

Triple Bypass Barbie

Diarrhea Barbie (Always on the run.)

Kleptomaniac Barbie (with suction cup hands)

Witch Doctor Ken (partner to #34, above)

Elvira Barbie (with long black hair and skimpy black gown)

Werewolf Barbie (normal doll, except under a full moon)

Living Dead Barbie (use your imagination)

Bigfoot Barbie (sold mostly in the Northwest)

Cyclops Barbie (One eye, right in the middle of her forehead.)

Cyclops Ken (A perfect partner for #46.)

Flying Hero Barbie (Yes, I know they made this one, but it’s at least as ludicrous as anything we came up
Flying Hero Barbie (Yes, I know they made this one, but it’s at least as ludicrous as anything we came up with.)

Spock Ken (pointy ears, one eyebrow raised)

Barbie of Borg (You will buy one. Resistance is futile.)

Hippie Chick Barbie (with bell bottoms, protest sign, and simulated controlled substances and paraphernalia)

Blaxploitation Barbie (With afro and provocative outfit. Shaft Ken sold separately.)

Head Trauma Barbie (I don’t even want to talk about that one.)

Leprosy Barbie (with removable appendages)

Iron Lung Barbie

Texas Necktie Barbie (with gallows)

Safari Barbie (With rifle, pith helmet, and pygmy guide.)

Steroid Barbie (The rest of her physique is as exaggerated as her bust is on the normal doll!)

Steroid Ken (Highly exaggerated physique; Major League Baseball uniform included {specify desired team}.)

Rock Climbing Barbie (#9 with climbing gear)

Militant Femminist Barbie (#48 with an assault rifle)

Can you name what movie these famous quotes are from?

1. OK! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

2. I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can’t seem to find my toothbrush, so I’ll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I’m in good shape.

3. You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He’s the best lawyer in Miami. He’s such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.

4. Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, ****less, hopeless, heartless, fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where’s the Tylenol?

5. Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They’re shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they’re gone.

6. You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

7. Dear little baby Jesus, who’s sittin’ in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my moma together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

8. I’ll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.

9. One day it started raining, and it didn’t quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin’ rain… and big ol’ fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath.

10. You’re coming with me Cain.

Do you think I’m an OK writer?

I wrote this story, I am 14, and I like writing for fun. I’m just wondering, am I any good? How good? I want lots of feedback please! Thanks!

I am Alex Rockbrook, and I am a spy. I didn’t know I was a spy until the evening of May 6th. I have been training with secret agents since I was 3 years old, I just didn’t know yet.

Chapter 1,
In which my normal life gets flipped to my other crazy life I no idea about

On the bus, I sit with my best friends in our reserved seats that we won on a raffle ticket at last years school carnival, theres room for 3 people, 5 at the most, but most of the people who tried to fit in with 5, well lets just say, they don’t go here anymore.

“What are you planning for the summer?” said best friend Jammie Carter. Jammie has been my best friend since the 4th grade, all the way into the 8th, and soon to be broken up by the oh so scary, but yet exiting, high school. Jammie will be attending St. Ann’s. Me, I don’t know where I’m going, whenever I bring it up with my parents, they say It’ll all work out, then every now and then I hear them talking about some school that I had never heard of, a special school. I’m not special! Well, atleast I don’t have any issues!

“Hanging out, I don’t know I don’t have that much planned” I said. “What about you Arron?” Arron had been my friend since, well, birth! Our moms were friends in colledge, and have been ever since. The only problem with that is that I think it make Jammie feel left out. He sighed, “I don’t know, I think my moms trying to get me to take summer classes for school next year, I don’t know why, I passed all my classes so far, and we’ve only got 2 weeks left of school.” “Maybe she just wants you to get ahead for next year, just in case” I said sleepily. “Are you guys comming to the grill?” I asked. My family owned a resteront called, “The Grill” that was 2 blocks away from my house, I get them to come and hang out with me while I’m on shift sometimes. “Sorry Alex, I’ve got homework” said Jammie. “Arron?” I gave him a puppy dog face. “Sure, I’ll hang out with you until,” he looked at his watch, “9:00, then I’ve got to go to bed.”

We got off the bus at my house, said bye to Jammie, and walked 2 blocks to “The Grill”. When we got there my mom and dad were already working, making barbecue chicken for dinner rush. The inside of the grill consisted of about 10 talbes and booths, a counter that went along the whole back end of the room, then behind that the kitchen. It was 3:00 and “The Grill” opened at 4:00, so we set up our homework on the counter and got to work on our history reports. We finished at about 3:30, and went around the back of the reseront and played bascket ball in the reserved area for owners, me, my mom and dad, my sister (age 3) and 2 twin brothers (age 6).

“So, what do you want to do tonight?” I asked. “I don’t know, we could watch TV” “Bor-ing” we said in unison. “Have you decided where you’re going to high school yet?” he said, “No” I said, a little more quieter than I meant to. “Me ether, when ever I ask my mom about it, she just says its a surpize, or something like that” “Me too!” I said. “Guys!!” My mother called from the resteront back door, “Time to open!” And with that, we ran inside and sat at the counter. The night went as usual, people came in, ordered, and pigged out. We sat at the counter, once in a while telling a cutomer where the bathroom is.

Then, sometime around 6:30, a man came bursting in the room. He was what looked like a worked up Hobo, he wore tattered sweat pants, a gray T-shirt, and a moldy looking red plaid jacket. He was old, in or around his 40′s. Though he dressed like a hobo, his skin was very tan, not burnt, tan. Nobody seemed to notice, he walked to the counter, looked from both Arron and I and said in the faintesed whisper, “Are you Alex Rockbrook, and are you Arron Ladle?” “Yes” we said, after a long awkward silence. He smiled and said “Come with me” “Um, I don’t think I’m supposed to leave the res with telling my parents where I’m going” I said, a little scared now. “I said, we’re going now!” He said, still whispering. and with that, he picked both of us up like children and started across the restaurant. “Let us go!!” we shouted. “Help!!!” But our kidnapper just said “My niece and nephew, always joking!” And no one helped. “Mom!!! Dad!!! Help us!” But help didn’t come, then before knew it, the man caring us was jogging now, already outside, the sunset looked almost sad, as we p

Strange licking behavior in Cairn terrier? My dog is licking the air!?

Hi. My cairn terrier is almost 12 years old, and has been acting weird. He has always been one to lick anything he get get his paws (and tongue) on. He constantly licks car seats, the floor, underwear (really, really nasty, I know. Thank god he prefers to lick other stuff and not me). But anyway, now he has started to “lick the air” as I would put it. He just sits and flicks his tongue as if he were licking something invisible all day. His tongue also looks longer than usual. What is wrong with my dog?!

My dog likes to lick my hands and feet and I like that. However, she refuses to lick anyone’s face. Why?

This isn’t a problem, I am just curious if anyone knows dog behavior. Licking hands and feet indicates that the dog sees the person as “more important” in the pack than she is. But I just wonder why she refuses to lick my face. By the way, I am not dirty or smelly and I look OK too. No one has ever scolded her for licking his face, so it is not that either. Hmmmmm?

dog behavior?

we adopted a german shepherd/yellow lab mix in 2001, and ever since we first got her up to this very day, she has loved to lick. but she doesn’t only lick people, she licks the floor, furniture, and sometimes even the air.

does my dog like the taste of humans/floors/furniture, or is she just very very affectionate?

can I train my one year old dog clicker training?

Hi! I have always wanted to teach my dog with a clicker but didn’t start when I got him. He knows alot of tricks now but I’d like to switch him over to clicker training. Could someone really explain the concept to me, and tell me how and why it’s done? Or give me a resource to get the info! It looks like a great way to train. we are getting another puppy in a month and want to start her on it as well.

What are good dog clicker training videos on youtube?

I want to clicker train my one year old overly active dog.

dog training methods clicker training or more classic methods?

i am planning n training my dog, and i heard that positive dog training (or clicker training) is better than other methods. is that true?

everyone, plz critique my story?

yes its very long, but plz critique…………… Years of reckoning….

It wasn’t very difficult the first time. She just left it there while she ran over to pick up her child. “someone” apparently, had loosened the screws on his bike tires. The four year old boy was bawling over a scraped knee. Ridiculous. But whatever worked to get her away from her purse was fine with him. Alexander swiftly walked past the bench she had left it on, grabbed the unusually stuffed handbag, slipped it under his jacket-blanketed arm, and power-walked out of sight. He ducked behind a tree to see what he had retrieved. A small wallet, some baby wipes, a blue sippy cup, a small chunk of lint, and a pink and silver cell phone with a few cheap rhinestones on the front. He looked at the logo. A razor. Nice. He’d wanted a cell phone ever since he’d left his in his pants….and then put them in the washer. But luckily it still worked. Until he dropped it down the stairs. And, miraculously, it was STILL working. But then he dropped it in the pool. That’s when it stopped working. He grabbed the phone and the wallet, then threw the purse into the tree above his head. He laughed quietly. He wondered if he wanted to wait around and see her jump to get her purse. She was rather busty, and it would be nice to see her leap. After a few seconds he decided against it. Better to not test fate. He grinned widely. It always felt good when he would get the cash as easy as he had. That was probably the reason he did steal so much. It was the only thing in his life that made him feel good. Home sucked, school sucked, people sucked, he sucked, everything sucked. But that’s the way life was. Luckily, he wouldn’t be around to endure “life” much longer. He thought the knife would be best. A gun would be to loud and would alert people. Not to mention the fact that, well, he didn’t have a gun. And he would really rather not strangle himself. he didn’t like pain, It hurt. He opened up the wallet and took the cash inside. His eyes grew in surprise At a mother carrying around three hundred and fifty dollars in cash in her purse. Marry rich he supposed. He tossed the credit card to avoid getting caught. He threw his right leg over his bike, pushed it off the building it was leaning on, and rode away. As he rode he flipped open his new phone and began deleting the numbers. after a few minutes he realized he didn’t even have anybody to talk to, got pissed off, and broke it at the flip seam, throwing it over the nearest fence. He heard a dog yelp. Poor puppy. He did love animals. He eventually came to a stop at his driveway. He didn’t want to go into his home because he knew as soon as he did, the trouble would start. His father would be angry that he hadn’t started his homework, his mother would turn on the guilt, his brother would cry about never getting a chance to play with him anymore, everyone would start hollering and screaming, he woulod start working, and keep working for hours on end,then his family would all gather up and watch a movie for family time while he had to sit in the kitchen doing the work he would never get done, everyone would go to bed but him, he would work until 1:00 in the morning and still not gret his work done, then his parents would wake him up early in the morning to finish his work, more yelling, he would have no time to eat, then he would be sent to school with his work still half finished, and if he was lucky, he wou.d have gotten his work done but would forget it at home, he would go to school, tired, exhausted, and on the brink of crying, the guys at school would be awful assholes and bully him around for not being athletic or popular, he would be called filthy names that even he wouldn’t repeat to his worst enemy, the girls would be spiteful and hellish little bitches, screaming if he got within ten feet of them, look at him weird, slap him occasionally, fabricate utterly horrendous rumors about him wich would then spread like a virus throughout the whole school, the coaches would purposely humiliate him in front of the guy and the girls, challenging him to do things he knew even the bu,lkiest jocks were incapable of, then he would go to english and his teacher, mrs.hyde, would publicly humiliate him, making a spectacle of anything that he didn’t do exactly right, and when he didn’t get his homework done, she would basically announce it to the class when she “discussed” it with him that she was surprised he couldn’t get the simplest of things done, and she would say at an unnecessarily loud tone that she could have her 9 year old son come after school to help teach him if he wanted. He had only two friends, Max Valley and Ben Cunning. But as soon as Max became popular, he became worse than most of the guys. And Ben was just a pervert, so he didn’t really like hanging with him. but worst of all was the principle, Mrs.Stover. she would do everything in her power to get him in trouble and used all of her energy to think up unjust punishments for the things she said he did. She was a complete liar. He would go to her if someone was threatening him or trying to hurt him and she would turn it around and suspend him for hurting students or threatening the students he told her were threatening him. There was one girl he met he liked. He wanted to know her and become friends with her. So he was making a good impression on her he thought but one day she came to him and told him he wouldn’t hang out with a guy who did what he did to that “other girl.” He had no idea what she was talking about, he had never hurt anyone! Who the hell would do this to him?! He knew it was one of the teachers but he never found out which one and so he lived with it, wondering how anyone would take the one friend he might have. Although he had a good guess. Even the counselor, mrs.vant, was against him. she would purposely give him bad advice for his problems, and whenever he let something slip that showed a weakness of his, she would make sure that Mrs.Stover heard about it. So then, after 7 hours of this, he would go home, and the cycle would begin to repeat. This went on for a year and a half and by this time, alexander had almost completely lost all the faith he had in god and could almost care less about a relatinoship with him. but that was okay he supposed because he had never felt close to god anyway. God obviously didn’t love him enough to help him, so he decided to abandon god. He had constant thoughts of suicide and was planning to put these thoughts into action next Tuesday. Honestly, what did he have to live for? He hated himself, he hated everyone else, everyone else hated him, his family hated to be around him, god didn’t love him, he had no friends, and it was obvious, he figured, he never would. He was worthless and was failing everything and so there was obviously no future for him. death may even be a blessing in all this turmoil. Today was Friday so he had three days to prepare his letter. He decided he would leave a suicide letter. He still loved his family, and if he was gonna kill himself, they might as well get a goodbye. He snapped out of his thoughtful trance, and hopped off his bike, slowly wakling it towards his home. he went unnecessarily slowly but nevertheless, he found himself at the front door way too soon. He placed his bike sideways against the wall and stretched out his hand for the doorknob. He was just about to turn it when he heard somebody clear their throat behind him. he spun around, startled, and found himself face to face with an annoying looking person. “ wonderful day sir! Have you accepted jesus christ as your personal savior?” annoying was right. It was one of those ignorant christians who were incapable of seeing the world past their noses. Probably because their bible was always in the way. “ oh god.” Alexander thought as he decided quickly of a way to deal with this guy. “listen buddy, do I look at all like I’ve accepted your stupid religion?” he said sliding his hand down his body such as the way a gameshow women presents a new car. He held his skull ring studded fist out for the man to see. The man cleared his throat again. “ I couldn’t help but notice you standing on the sidewalk staring at this house for about seven minutes back there. Trouble at home?” this really pissed alexander off. What the hell business was it of his what was going on in someone else’s life? “ allright listen friend, you get off of my property in ten seconds or that bible is going to be so far up your-“ the man cut him off. “ allright allright. But take this at least.” He said holding out a pocket sized bible. “ thanks ill be sure to take real good care of it. Ill go put it by my seven crosses and my statue of jesus right now! Oh praise the lord, happy day!!” he said jumping up and clapping. Alexander then regained his sour look and shoved the man with both hands off his porch, causing him to stumble to the ground. He heard the man clear his throat one more time as he walked trouhg the door. “ and take a damn losange!” he finaled, slamming the door. He walked as fast as could be considered walking through the front hall, hoping he could make it upstairs before somebody knew he was there. There was no point in getting started on his homework when he would never finish it. Miraculously, he managed to get to his room unnoticed. He looked at the third drawer to the left of his bed. He knew what was in there. The light in his room hit the blade through the crack in the drawer and caused an ominous glare upon his face. He shivered. He wasn’t sure why, but it scared him. it shouldn’t scare him when he wanted so desperately for everything to end, yet it did. That was the factor that had kept him from killing himself months before. He wanted to die, but the thought thoroughly scared the living hell out of him, to say the least. Just the thought of dying brought him to the edge of sweating, and so, as a few cold drops of perspiration broke out upon his neck, he switched off his light, and slipped underneath the covers. As he lie curled in the fetal position, he closed his eyes and drifted into repose, but that lasted for only a few minutes when he was awakened by his dachshund, Ceppy, crying. It really ticked him off when he did this. His dog had to go to the bathroom, which, of course, he couldn’t have done while they were downstairs. He got up and brought Ceppy downstairs opened the back door and put him outside for a few minutes. After his dog had been outside for about ten minutes, he went outside to check on him. as he stepped out, he glanced up and caught sight of the moon. The moon was, no doubt, his favorite thing in the world to gaze at, especially on a night like this, when there were no clouds outside and he could get a perfect view. The light of the moon reflected off his pool and cast a beautiful shimmering shadow upon the side of his home. his eyes began to dry out after a blinkless minute and he snapped out of his trance. Picking up Ceppy he walked back inside and went to bed.
oh yeah, anyways, this is only the first six pages but it takes a very big spiritual turn. for the better.
and, no this is not the type of person i am in case anyone gets freaked out. its actually a very uplifting story later on
ooooo kaaay forist i see SOMEONE is completely sane *coff coff*

your perfect funeral?

mine -

i want to be barred under a tree

my music*

watching over me-iced earth
i did it my way-frank sinatra
in my life-beatles
let it be-beatles
ill be missing you-p.diddy
its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday – boys 2 men
amor eterno-juan gabriel
my immortal-evanescence
in this river-black label society
live and die in la-tupac
dreamer- ozzy osbourne
see you on the other side- ozzy osbourne
simply the best-tina turner

i want to barried with my dog yes i know creepy but i love her and shes my companion if she dies first then i am going to stuff her is i die first i want her killed and then stuffed and put in with me

i want to wear my black dickes jacket, jeans and my black and red converse and my favorite beatle shirt

i want people to walk up to the mic and talk about there memories with me and yea thats all i got so far

and if paul mcartney is alive i would like him to sing to me

Can you name what movies these quotes are from?

1. OK! I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

2. I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can’t seem to find my toothbrush, so I’ll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I’m in good shape.

3. You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He’s the best lawyer in Miami. He’s such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.

4. Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, ****less, hopeless, heartless, fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is. Hallelujah. Holy ****. Where’s the Tylenol?

5. Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They’re shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they’re gone.

6. You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

7. Dear little baby Jesus, who’s sittin’ in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my moma together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

8. I’ll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.

9. One day it started raining, and it didn’t quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin’ rain… and big ol’ fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath.

10. You’re coming with me Cain.

11. These boys get that syrup in ‘em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.

12. As soon as your eyes shut I oughta punch you square in the face.

13. Relax… A hickie from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card, when you only care enough to send the very best!

14. Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon

15. Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don’t have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Enjoy!

What are some good SMALL…er… Dog breeds for kids?

well, not FOR kids but to be around them?
well no pugs becuase theyre gross looking (sorry.. i love all dogs but just dont like being arond pugs) and they have alot of health problems.. so.. to be more detailed….

one that would be good around a VERY small kid (UNDER 2 years old i mean), a breed that doesnt have very many hereditary health problems.. and.. something else but i forgot it.. lol
OH YEAH!!! ones that arent “horny” and arent too dumb..
my husband doesnt like dogs that are.. dumb..er.. so.. yeah.. thanks!!

i hope you understand what i mean and dont take it the wrong way though
oh one more thing.. Please.. no herding dogs.. Ive been around too many I know theyre smart and theyre just playing or ‘working’ when they do this, but.. Every friend Ive had, that had a collie or other herding dog, has always had theyre kids ‘herded’ by them.. so.. thats kind of dangerous for a very small child.. even if the sweet puppies just playing
(sorry im being so picky.. )

Whats a good toy breed dog for kids?

I have two girls, one is 5yrs old & one is 5 months old. I’m looking to get a dog for them for Christmas this year but I’m unsure about what breed. I need a dog thats not very fragile (no chiwawas or yorkis) and not aggressive. I know there are tons of breeds but I dont have any resources of picking a dog.

What is a good dog breed for kids but can also be a guard dog?

I would need a dog that’s good with kids/babies, is friendly and can ward off intruders. I would like a larger sized dog with medium-short length hair.
Any suggestions?
Thanks!

What are some dog breeds that don’t shed so much where there’s fur all over the furniture and clothes?

I want a dog that doesn’t shed so much (I don’t want fur on the furniture and clothes).

what dog breeds don’t shed?

I have a poodle mix and i have been told that poodles are hypo-allergenic. but what other types of dogs don’t shed. I have really bad allergies and I love dogs which is why i would like to know if there are other hypo-allergenic breeds

what are some good breeds of dog that don’t shed too much?

I looking into getting another dog, but my last dog practically tortured my dad cause she shed so much. Now I know the labradoodle supposedly sheds less dander (though I don’t like them too much) so are there any other breeds that don’t shed that much fur/dander?

A few dog & puppy behavior questions?

*Sorry this is so long!*

So i have a 10 yr old yellow lab/american eskimo mix, Precious. Then there’s Sasha, she’s about 8 or 9 months old & a pitbull. She’s almost as big as Precious but she’s always the one who gets hurt in a fight. She’s a big baby =]

Sasha likes to dunk her head in her water bucket, and a couple min after she does this, Precious will go over to her and lick her face and neck, where she’s wet. Sasha puts her ears down low and looks very submissive while Precious does this, but she sits there and lets her do it. Whenever Sasha gets wet Precious will lick her wherever she is wet (no, she’s not thirsty). And sometimes she will lick Sasha for the hell of it. She licks her multiple times a day, yet she is often irritated by her hyper behavior. Does she feel motherly towards her or something? She doesn’t growl or anything while doing this.

Sasha often leans on my legs. It doesn’t matter if i’m giving attention to my other dogs or not, she’ll lean the side of her body on my legs. She tends to do it while she chews on a toy, she’ll just stand there and lean on me. i’ve been told that it means she thinks she owns me, wants protection, or is being dominant. Which is it? She’s definitely not the dominant dog in the pack.

Last one: i was told by my grandmother that with bog dogs you have to stare them down to “tame them. She told me a former coworker of hers stared at her Rottweiler for 5 HOURS straight when it initiated staring with her. Apparently if you “win” this staredown, the dog will know that you are boss permanently. And if you “lose” the opposite happens. i’ve read online that a dog will become vicious and attack you if you stare at it since you’re “challenging” it. But i’m not too sure about that one. My old Rottweiler never challenged me to a staredown and she became out of control. Sasha is a handful and still has growing to do, so is this something i need to initiate and/or worry about in the near futute?

Can you answer some questions about my dog’s behavior?

He scratches all the time; it’s just annoying. It’s not fleas. It’s better after he’s had a bath, and I bathe him about once a month, but I’m afraid to bathe him more often in case I’d dry out his skin.

He jumps up on me all the time as well. I love it when he does it, and sometimes I pick him up – but I thought that was considered bad form for a dog and I don’t know why he does it. Any guesses?

Bird dog owners… I have two questions about behavior……?

I have a German Short Hair Pointer female, everytime we go into our backyard to play with the dogs she won’t come up to us for like ten minutes. She runs around to every corner of the yard barking up trees and out the fence at things we don’t see. We continue to play fetch with the Beagal but the Pointer won’t get interested for a long while. Then when she does play, she won’t bring the toy back, it’s like she’s playing keep away from us and the Beagal. Is she just showing off how well she can clear the yard of prey when we go out? We don’t hunt her so I wasn’t sure if this was an instictual thing or not. And as a general dog question: How do you solve the keep away problem between two dogs? Just curious, let me know what you think.

Training a dog to do magic tricks?

I want to use my dog in a show where he has to perform a magic trick.

He already is an “acting dog” so he is easy and willing to be trained.

I dont know any magic tricks though – does anyone have any suggestions?

Dog Tricks && Training?

what are some tricks and ways to train my doggies????

I have 2 dogs, a male and female! VERY BIG!

I need some tricks to teach them that would win a pet show and some cheap and easy ways to train them and have the equipment!!

Thanks,

?Mickey

Has anyone tried the training tricks seen on The Dog Whisperer and do they work?

One time I tried the calming technique used by Cesar Milan on his dogs during the show The Dog Whisperer on my dog., It looked harmless enough and not cruel in any way. I put my hand on my dog‘s shoulder the way Cesar does, kind of like how dogs do when communicating with each other in a pack. I made sure I was gentle, I thought it couldn’t hurt to try because it wasn’t harmful to the dog in any way.
My dog turned around and growled at me though, then he tried to bite my hand! Has anyone else tried this?

I wrote this, what do you think of it? Thanks!?

Chapter One : Destiny

There were strange vivid whirls surrounding me, and I tried to push it back to where it came from. But that didn’t make sense. Where did it come from? I sat down on a big log, and sighed. Where was I? Then, the log suddenly moved, and became a huge dragon. The dragon had solid red colored on it, with different shades of red, orange, and yellow splattered on it. Then, it shook me off, making me shoot out into the whirls. I stared as it shook itself like a dog. It said in a deep voice, “Destiny Garett, you are chosen. Now, step back.”
At that point, I started freaking out.
“But, are you real?” I stared at it with widened eyes, “Oh my gosh, why am I talking to like, a big lizard dragon thing? That doesn’t make sense at all.”
The deep voice laughed, “I am real. I am the Dragon of Fire. Now please, step back.”
Afraid of being flamed away, I stepped back and waited for him to talk again.
“Good, no-”
“Wait a minute. How do you know my name?” I interrupted.
“I know everything,” he grinned widely, showing his sharp, sparkling teeth, “Now please. Sit, and do not interrupt.”
I sat, and tilted my head up. The Dragon of Fire was really tall and scaly.
“By chosen, I mean you are chosen for being a guardian of the earth. You will help and defend the good, and attack the evil. You are one of three of a crime-fighting team. Now, wake up, and you will meet your teammates today.” He said, and then began again after a thought, “Your status is all on this paper. Thank you, and goodbye.”
He faded as I looked at the place where he once was. I crawled to where the little piece of paper was, and picked it up. It was a little card, about as big as an index card. It had a billion little colored dots on the edges that created one big beautiful border. Inside the border was this neatly written text:

To The Beauty :
You, Destiny Garett, have been chosen to be a third of a crime fighting team. The Dragon of Fire should have already told you what you have to do.
Anyway, you are the beauty third. You will amaze everyone with your looks. This will lure in many of your opponents. Your strengths are: getting what you want, appeal, and being the most graceful, well-spoken, beautiful teenager in the world. Your weaknesses are: smartness and thinking very, very well. And since you met the Dragon of Fire, you also have some capabilities of fire, such as: flamethrower, melting, and controlling all types of fire.
To meet your teammates, please follow these directions: go to Bondal Street at 3:00 p.m. sharp. Meet me (to identify me, look for aman with a jean jacket and a red cap). And then I will show you everything you need to know.
Thank you and best wishes to your new life,
John Smith

I read it over again and again, and then suddenly, the whirls gave away. I started falling, falling, falling, into a deep space in this wonderland.

**********************************************************************

The sound of a loud beeping noise woke me with a start. I sat straight up and I sighed. ‘All a dream,’ I thought. I looked to my right and noticed I was gripping a small card with writing on it. It had a rough texture, and when I looked at it closer, I saw it was the card the Dragon of Fire had left for me, written by John Smith. ‘Or not.’
My heart beat so loudly I could hear it ringing my eardrums. I put my hand to my heart to make sure it wouldn’t explode out of my chest. I started sweating, and my hair was getting damp.
‘This can not be happening,’ I thought. It couldn’t be. But it was.
I glanced at my clock, and it was 6:27 a.m. I rushed out of my bed in a hurry and ripped off my pajamas. I pulled on a red and white striped shirt and shorts in a hurry. I combed my hair with my fingers, and then I stopped. I stood in front of my mirror, my mouth wide open. I suddenly looked taller and skinnier (I was skinny before) and I had pale skin. In the place of my ordinary brown eyes were crystal blue, and my used-to-be-brown short hair was now long, beautiful and golden. But what awed me most was my flawless face. It looked beautiful. There were no ‘mistakes’ what-so-ever. I guess I really was the ‘beauty’ part of the three. I sighed, and I knew if I were a guy, I would so date me. ‘Woah. I guess that smartness weakness is really real. I’m not thinking very, very well.’ I thought.
I suddenly thought about my family. My friends. My teachers. My neighbors. I have changed dramatically. What would they say? I tied my blonde hair up in a pony and threw a cap over my head. Ugh. Still visible. And even if I could cover up my hair, what about my eyes? Skin tone? Height? Weight? Face? The beauty…
I threw my cap down in disgust and sat on my stool for a few minutes. What was I thinking? I tried to ignore it and I pulled my backpack out of my closet and ran into my living room.
“Honey, you’re going to be late. Hurry up and go to your bus stop. Here’s your breakfast.” She skimmed over the words
It continues!!! :

She skimmed over the words in a hurry as she handed me a lunch bag containing a carton of OJ, a PBJ sandwich, and a banana.
“Ok,” I took the bag and started to head out the door.
“Honey. What happened to you?” my mom asked as I took a step out my front door.
“I don’t know. Please don’t ask me. I know I look really different, but I can’t explain. I do-” I was cut off by my mom.
“What are you talking about? I was just asking about that cut on your arm.”
I peered at my arm, and saw the cut I got yesterday from my cat, Cassie.
“Cassie.” I said, confused.
“Oh, ok. Well have a good day!” she waved and walked out of the living room.
I stared at where she just was in confusion. She didn’t notice my height? Or my weight? Eye color? Skin tone? Or even my hair? I was so confused now. I shook my head and ran to my bus stop, and figured I missed it.
I walked to school, and saw my best friend Janelle Botson. She had to notice something.
“Janelle! Over here!” I waved and smiled
And the last part :

“Janelle! Over here!” I waved and smiled at her.
“Oh, hi Destiny. Why aren’t you on the bus?” she asked, pulling a piece of black hair behind her ear.
“I missed it,” I shrugged, “Cool shirt.”
Janelle looked down, and smiled, “Thanks. I got it yesterday,”
im writing this for fun

Do you think my story is good?

I wrote this story for a school project. It is the story of a dog. I am 13 years old right now but I was 12 when I wrote it. Please, if you have hateful comments, keep them to yourself.

The name of this story is “Confined”

I believe anyone can say that they would hate to wake up to lonely concrete walls, and an exceedingly uncertain future. It seems peculiar how so many choose that path despite the harsh consequences. And in all of that strange logic, I had been sandwiched in the middle of it for most of my life. Although, I suppose for all those frightful years, I was in a much better position than most. I had a motive almost no one there had, and that was love.

That devoted presence I provided, must have been quite helpful to him, Eldon Bryce; a man convicted of murdering a twenty-six year old girl named Jessica Gorton. The jury was exceedingly confident that the data unmistakably pointed to Eldon. Little did they know, I was with Eldon that dark, misty day when Jessica passed away, and all night we were celebrating Eldon’s new profession as a chef. Naturally, there was no evidence that that had truly occurred, as it was just us two that night. And unfortunately, no human back then could understand my barking.

In spite of the fact that Eldon had the best lawyer in all of New York, he was pronounced guilty one summer day in August. From then on, I had awful nightmares that haunted me even after I woke up. That was because I knew what my owner’s fate would be. And I certainly knew mine. Revisiting the adoption center was the least of my worries. I was far more concerned with leaving him; Eldon.

Normally, a street dog like me at the start of my life would never get too attached to humans. That was because the elders in my family had heard tales of horrific cruelty and desertion. Obviously, they were inclined to share them to warn the other dogs. True, some humans were better than others. But as my mother instructed me,

“In the end, they’re all humans, dear. To hurt another living being in such a way is an inexcusable offense,” she would say. “It’s best to stay away from humans all together, to prevent something atrocious.”

I respected my mother, and took what she told me in consideration for an awfully long time. Nevertheless, I didn’t completely give up on humans. I watched their docile and also aggressive actions vigilantly. Never approaching them, but also never straying too far.

And then there was one day in the frigid winter, when I met a young boy. He was wearing a giant, navy winter jacket and coffee brown slacks. Back then I was just a puppy, and it was the first time I had ever seen such a gentle person. Not only did he feed the birds, he also fed the occasional cat that passed by. Sure, I had seen this behavior before, but this boy was unique. He was genuinely kind to the animals. I gazed at him as he giggled and smiled while he lightly stroked the cats and fed the birds the finest parts of his meal.

“Will I get some too if I go over there?” I thought curiously. When you’re a street dog, food is the greatest treasure. I can still recall my family coaching me on how to turn over trash cans and trap rodents. It absolutely was not the idyllic meal for a dog, but whatever kept us alive was good enough.

Daringly, I began to leisurely draw near the boy from the raspberry bushes beside him. I wasn’t certain what he would do to me, and I wasn’t too concerned. The food was the prize.
At first he didn’t notice me. I had to warily walk in front of him. Though, I never took my eyes of the sandwich, which was dripping with maroon jelly.

“Hey…” The boy softly whispered to me. Abruptly I saw his arm out in front of me, his long fingers extended. Whimpering, I shuffled back, prepared to take off if necessary. “It’s alright. I won’t hurt you.” He said. I let him touch my head, but my nerves ultimately got the best of me and I darted back into the bush.

The day passed and morning came. The boy came back and sat on the wooden bench where he had before. I retreated from the bush once again and managed to get close to him. I hadn’t eaten in quite a while, so I was rather desperate. I allowed the boy stroke my head, neck, back, and tail. Finally, a piece of sandwich was placed in front of me. I dug in without much thought.

“Wow, you’re hungry.” The boy chuckled and patted my head. “How would you like to come home with me? I promise you can eat all the food you want.”

And so, I sadly said farewell to my family. However, I did not tell anyone where I was truly going. I feared that my family would have felt tremendous betrayal if I told them the truth.

In the first couple days with my new owner, I discovered the significance of friendship, respect, patience, and how much my family was missing out on. I also learned that just because there are some unlucky dogs i
sorry here is the rest:

In the first couple days with my new owner, I discovered the significance of friendship, respect, patience, and how much my family was missing out on. I also learned that just because there are some unlucky dogs in the world, does not mean every dog has to have a cruel fate. Additionally, I learned the name of my owner: Eldon Bryce.

Seven years later, one day after Eldon’s trial, I was flabbergasted to learn the new turn of events. For the first time in history, I would be permitted to spend the rest of my life with Eldon Bryce in his jail cell. Some might say it was a miracle, but others could easily argue it was a great misfortune. I certainly would never see a dog toy or a biscuit again, for my entire life. I knew that. But I felt like I needed to return my favor to Eldon; the boy, who saved me from the streets, let me ride in the back seat of his car, took me for walks, and flat out loved me. To me he was everything; a savior of sorts. I owed my
To me he was everything; a savior of sorts. I owed my company to him.
Eight years later, on a frosty day in fall, Eldon Bryce died from a seizure. That was my last day in the jail cell. Perhaps, an uncertain future is the fate of a dog like me. But I definitely won’t ever regret confronting Eldon Bryce. Even if meeting him meant spending a large portion of my life confined, I cherished every minute I spent with him.

I think my brother is mentally sick?

He was always a lovable weirdo. But he never leaves the house unless he’s going to work. About a year ago, he moved out of moms house and lives with his best friend. He’s 23 now, but he’s really paranoid about whatever is going on outside his window. I caught him near his window with his fingers making an imaginary gun, and he’s talking into his shoulder like a police officer. When he does this in front of people, it’s for laughs. but he’s doing it when he’s by himself. He swears he’s Jack Bauer.

Last time I visited him, there were some middle-eastern men doing construction work outside his window. And my brother tells me that al-qaeda is on to him. Even when I was riding the train with him that day, some black guy got annoyed why my brother kept staring at him. He got up and said “Yo, you aight dog?”, and my crazy brother pretends he’s taking a gun out of his jacket, but keeps his hand in there. It’s getting frustrating because I have to keep saving his a-ss. And he won’t go to a doctor.

Can anybody tell me what you think he has? So I can research it, then tell a doctor about it? Thank you.
Jack Bauer is a fictional government agent who shoots down terrorists for a living. ::Sigh::