June 27, 2017

Best Dog Life Jacket

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William asks…

star if funny.. 26 ways to get the love of your life..?

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.” This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs YA hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she
is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This
will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because my boyelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words “**** you” and grab the other girl’s ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

9. Introduce her to YA friends as “some chick.” Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her YA jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say “if you don’t stop lassieing about the cold right now, you’re going to be lassieing about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in YA arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use YA arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you’re in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interrupt and say “no, she’s not hungry.” Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of YA t-shirts, and make sure it has YA smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I’m talking about).

21. When it’s raining, keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say “no, it’s just the rain.” Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy, and YA happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on YA birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she’s coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this one that much, but I think it’s funny.

26. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This
will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Don’t call.
LMAO!!! wow noticed how angry the girls getting.. ITS A JOKE!!, im not really this evil,. i guess only guys find this funny

admin answers:

Haha dude your messed up but i will admit its funny…. Kinda reminds me of a couple of b/fs ive had haha but seriously dont try this if your looking to keep a girl

Lizzie asks…

Can somebody please tell me which movies are repeated, there’s too many, ill choose best answer?

Gladiator
Sunshine
Fargo
Dr. Strangelove
Religulous
Fight Club
Dracula (95, Coppola version)
Idiocracy
Fantastic Planet
Hell Boy
Martian Kid
Little Miss Sunshine
Matrix
Breakfast on Pluto
Remains of the Day
THE BIG LEBOWSKI
the departed
casino
28 days later
top gun
boondock saints
fargo
burn after reading
life aquatic
THE BEACH
tropic thunder
all the pirates of the carribbean
i am legend
the royal tenenbaums
Training Day
Enemy At The Gates
Pulp Fiction
Jackie Brown
Goodfellas
Reservoir Dogs
Inside Man
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
Romeo Must Die
xXx
2 Fast 2 Furious
Scarface
American Gangster
The Godfather: Part II
Ocean’s 11
Live Free Or Die Hard 4.0
Mission Impossible 3
I Robot
Casino
Bad Boys 2
The Departed
John Q
City Of God
Crank
Man On Fire
The Sum Of All Fears
Phone Booth
The Punisher

Blue Streak
Next Friday
I Spy
The Assassination Of Jesse James
The One
Beverly Hills Cop Trilogy (Childhood Favourite)
The Usual Suspects
Cradle 2 The Grave
Life
Smokin’ Aces
Troy
Walking Tall
Children Of Men
Black Hawk Down
Blood Dimond
Team America – World Police
The Italian Job
Enemy of the State
National Lampoon’s: Loaded Weapon 1
Ali
Braveheart
The Last of the Mohicans
Equilibrium
Tombstone

Casino Royal
Spartacus
Speed
The Machinist
Glory
L.A. Confidential
The Count of Monte Cristo
Unbreakable
Shawshank Redemption
Beowulf
Ben Hur

Ghost and the Darkness
Mighty Joe Young (1998)
The Night Stalker (1971)
The Dark (1979)
Aliens
The Empire Strikes Back
Quantum of Solace
Ronin
Terminator
Batman Begins
The Man From Earth
The first godfather
Kill Bill 1 and 2
Four Rooms
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas
A Clockwork Orange
Full Metal Jacket
Taxi Driver
Mean Streets
Persopolis
Grave Of The Fireflies
El Topo
Suspiria
perfect blue
death becomes her
Matilda
American Gangster
The Godfather: Part II
Ocean’s 11, 12, 13
Bride wars
The Road
The Blind Side
Children Of Men

28 days later
30 days of night
The Proposal
Alien
Star Wars
Lord of the Rings
Matrix

Back to the Future

Dune
Star Gate

IndianInTheCuboard
TheSilenceOfTheLambs

Rocky
BourneIdentity

AmericanPie

GranTorino
TheDarkKnight
Rambo

VantagePoint
ZietGeist2:Addendum
ToyStory
NightmareBeforeChristmas
TheLittleEngineThatCould
AnAmericanTail:FievalGoesWest

EnterTheDragon
Fast&Furious
E.T.

ABugsLife
KingKong
TheDayTheEarthStoodStill
HarryPotter
HomeAlone
ReignOverMe
IndependanceDay
ShaunOfTheDead
BeetleJuice
CatchMeIfYouCan
TheExorcist
CastAway
PiratesOfTheCaribbean
EdwardScissorhands
HocusPocus
TheFugitive
OrangeCounty
HappyGilmore
Click
TheGirlNextDoor
Swordfish
MontyPythonHolyGrail
XXX
AliceInWonderland
PublicEnemies
SantaClause
TheMask
HomelessToHarvard
MinorityReport
KungFuHustle
TheBraveLittleToaster
TheJungleBook
TheLandBeforeTime
Tremors

BicentinialMan

MortalKombat
JurassickPark
ShortCircuit
ChittyChittyBangBang
MarryPoppins
VanWilder
TheAdventurersDownUnder
Casper
TheGreatMouseDetective
TopGun
CruelIntentions
InspectorGadget
ForestGump(TomHanks)
HomewardBound
pinocchio
LionKing
101Dalmatians(animated)
Polly

admin answers:

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Chris asks…

Things men do that women hate!?

I am doing a school project in my Women’s Studies class. We have to compile a list of things that Men Do That Women Hate. This is meant to be more in the range of Dating/Relationships/Marriage/Common Law. So… pretty basically… what does your boyfriend/husband/partner do that you absolutely hate and is a MAJOR no-no… if he wants to stay on your good side? Ahh… where to start? Haha! Here is my list so far:

1. Women don’t like to be TOLD what to do – about anything! Don’t tell me how to clean, cook, eat, study, write, drive, behave, speak, etc. I absolutely hate it when men try to control women! Telling me what to do or how to do something is a major no-no.

2. Don’t make me watch sports. I don’t make you watch Sex and The City or The View. So don’t make me watch sports.

3. Don’t make me your sports buddy. If you like to ski, surf, play football… good for you! But I am not “one of the guys”. I am your girlfriend/wife… don’t make me your sports buddy. I don’t make you go to my Yoga, Pilates and Cardio Bar classes.

4. Don’t make me watch you play sports. I know you want to be a man and all… but you really are not a professional athlete… and therefore I should not have to be put through watching you grunt and bunt through your sporting events. Once in a while (like a couple of times a year)… yeah, okay, fine… but lets not make it a regular thing.

5. Don’t TELL me how to raise the kids. After all, they were in my body for 9 months and I am the one who went through labor. Obviously communication and contribution is essential. But make sure you are not dictating how I should raise the kids.

6. Don’t tell me how to spend the money. Women are just better at handling finances then me. If it were left up to men, families would be wiping their bums with leaves and dressing like bums. Toiletries cost money and so do good quality clothing. And don’t question the throw-cushions… yes, they were absolutely essential!

7. Don’t tell me I have enough shoes. There is no such thing as enough shoes. When there is no place to put the crib… okay, then maybe I will back off on the shoe shopping! Until then… it’s totally under control!

8. Whenever asked “Do I look fat in this?”… the answer is an INSTANT no! Note that the key is “instant”. There should be no pause.

9. If you notice I have put on weight, you should say… “Looking good… have you lost weight? Go and eat something… you are wasting away!” And I don’t mean sarcastically… I mean seriously!

10. Don’t make me throw out my college’s boyfriend’s college sweatshirt. And don’t you dare touch it and pretend like you have no idea what happened to it.

11. Yes, your dog needed a jacket. I don’t care if he weighs more than I do and has the fur of a polar bear. He looked cold and he was going to die without it. Yes, it was an absolutely essential life-saving purchase.

12. Be prepared that before I change my hair color/length/style, I will ask for your opinion. This is just what women do. We don’t know why… perhaps it is something ingrained. And don’t be surprised that we get our hair done EXACTLY how you hate it. And what should you say when we come home from the salon? “Honey, that was exactly what I was thinking. It looks perfect!”

13. Don’t tell me what to sleep in. If I want to sleep in my over-sized college night gown, so be it. Don’t expect me to be wearing lingerie to bed or sleeping in the nude.

14. Don’t tell me my diet-of-the-month is crazy. We women love our diets and we get excited about them. And it’s not to lose weight or look good for you. We do it for US.

15. Don’t tell me your best friend is cheating on his wife if I know his wife. I will be obligated to tell her and give him the evil eye. It’s just the way it is.

16. When the waitress is wiping down our table, don’t glance down her top and pretend to be watching her wipe the table down.

17. Don’t question our inner-compass. We know exactly where we are going and how to get there. It may not be the way you or anyone else would have taken… but it is our way and we’ll get there eventually.

18. When I invite my parents to come live with us, embrace it. I knew them before I knew you, therefore they will win. And you may end up homeless. Just the way it is.

19. Don’t insult my love of celebrity gossip. I absolutely have to know what diet Mischa Baron and Paris Hilton are on. And I have to know who Jessica Simpson is dating. It’s essential. Don’t roll your eyes, throw out my magazines or change the channel.

20. Yes, scrap-booking is an approved hobby. Deal with it.

Thanks for your input!

admin answers:

Don’t fight with a woman for the remote. You will lose a finger. You snooze, you lose.

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